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Husband and wife

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Welcome to my next installment of forced accountability through blogging!  No, really, that isn’t my only goal :).  This is my first year being very intentional about my goal setting.  Not just talking, but planning and writing down.  Making sure my goals are both measurable and attainable.

With the help of the book Tell Your Time, I have identified nine major roles in my life that deserve my attention.  My roles are:

  • Myself
  • Wife
  • Parent
  • Homeschooler
  • Home Manager
  • Friend
  • Worshipper of God
  • Business Owner
  • Dreamer
This post is focusing on my role as wife.  Remember, my goal setting began by asking myself the question, “What kind of wife do I want to be?”  I want to be a forgiving, gentle, supportive, helpful and fun wife.  I want to be my husband’s soft place to fall.  I want to someday look back on seventy years of marriage and know that I honored the Lord with this role, and blessed my husband.
Honestly, I am really humbled when I think how far I need to come in this category.  My husband is so loving and so gracious, that he would probably say I am already these things.  But, I know better, and so does Jesus.  I want to do better.
So, with an end goal that, to me, is very intimidating because of how far I need to come, I need to start small.  Remember, my goals need to be as measurable and attainable as possible, so that I have a way of assessing my progress.  Here is what I have come up with:
  • Thursday Morning Meetings – Sounds really romantic, doesn’t it?  Well, we take what we can get :)!  My husband’s work schedule is completely unpredictable, but he is almost always home on weekday mornings.  We have carved out this time (this was his idea!) to set aside for each other.  Thursday mornings, from 9:30 to 11:30, is our time.  (The baby is with us for the first half hour, but then she goes down for a nap.  The older four are in a bedroom together listening to an audio book and playing.  Training your children to play well together is priceless!)  Sometimes we just talk.  Usually we pray.  We are reading a book together, so sometimes we read a chapter and discuss things.  It is just a time to make sure that we are coming together at least once a week just to stay connected.  If there are things on my heart or mind, I can save them for this time.  So far, I am loving it!
  • Holding My Tongue – Well, I wish I could say I am making great strides here.  I too often voice what I think at the time are my thoughts, when in hindsight, they are merely criticisms.  I want to change that.  I have been praying for awareness of this habit prior to speaking so that I can more readily exercise control.  By the grace of God!
  • Reading Scripture and Books about Being a Wife – My daily time in the Word and in prayer brings me back, every morning, to where my focus needs to be.  God speaks to me about my habits, my behaviors, and my ways of thinking, and leads my heart back to where He wants it.  This makes me more able to glorify Him in many ways, being a wife included.  I am also reading Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl with a fantastic group of ladies from church.  The wisdom, encouragement and accountability in our group is phenomenal!
  • Planning Fun Time Together – This one is easy.  Or at, least this one sounds easy.  Play time with my husband is something that brings him so much joy!  He likes for me to poke him in the side when I walk by or tickle him when he is standing at the sink.  I can do that!  He also loves to just play – board games, card games, dominoes – and  I need to make sure those things happen.  Marriage should be fun!
  • Date Time Once a Month – This one is tricky.  We do not have extra money in the budget for this, and we do not have many people in our lives who are willing to watch our five young children for us for free.  However, this time together is important to our marriage.  We figure if we make it our goal to get out once a month, maybe it will actually happen once a quarter :)!  We do have some family and friends who are willing, and we need to allow them to bless us in that way!  Dates inside the house are also a great way to connect for free.

The whole idea, for me, this year is to make decisions that work towards my goals, and to avoid actions that don’t.  These written goals are my compass this year.  Make sure you subscribe to future posts, so you don’t miss any of my coming posts in this series.  Let’s encourage each other!

How are you doing in your role as wife?  In other roles?  What areas are you working on this year?  Tell us about it in the comments!

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I am just taking for granted that we can all use more help in this area.  Last week, in this post, I told you that Jason and I have decided to actually write down goals for ourselves this year.  As with many things, easier said than done.

I sat down many times, with several helpful resources in hand, to crank out a few rough drafts.  I did come up with some good ideas, and I created some basic categories – but I seemed stuck on the actual carrying out of the goals.  The, “Ok, now what?” problem.

What does it matter how many goals I write down if I have no concrete plan for making them happen!  I was struggling.

I know, know, know, that if I spend all my days working towards the end of that day, in thirty years I am not going to make much progress!  I have five little kids at home, and trust me, getting to the end of the day is no small feat.  However, at the end of my life I would love to know that I became the person I want to be.

To me, it isn’t about the dreams I have or the things I want to accomplish.  It is about becoming the mom, wife, friend, business owner, etc. that God has called me to be.  I won’t get there if all I ever do is accomplish the daily tasks of living and never make intentional choices to achieve the rest.

Which brings me to why I wrote this post.  I bought Telling Your Time last night.  It is an ebook, so I immediately downloaded it and began to read.

WOW.  It is simple, and exactly what I was looking for!  This is a short read, but exactly what I needed to set long-range goals, make realistic goals for this year, and make sure I spend my time each day accomplishing them!  I read the entire thing last night (this is definitely not necessary :)) while working my way through her process.  I was so inspired I worked my way from 5:45pm to 11:00pm and only stopped for the essentials.  I HAVE A PLAN!!!

I really, really recommend Telling Your Time to any of you thinking about your long-range goals, working through your yearly goals, having a difficult time managing your days, feeling like you can’t fit everything, wanting to get organized, or just plain wanting to be a little more thoughtful about how you spend your hours.

You will be so happy you did!  I’ll be sharing a little bit about my process and end results in the weeks to come.  Hopefully, I will be hearing about these things from you as well.  Click the links below to read the following posts in this series:

Refreshed in 2012

Myself in 2012

Becoming a Better Wife in 2012

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